One of the wonderful things about folk artists is that the there is a high chance you get to meet them and interact with them. There is no social media team handling their Instagram or Twitter, no bouncers at the show — often they are the ones behind the merch table.

All the same, I put little store into these interactions. There no reason to expect their relationship to me is of individual to individual, instead of one instance of a relationship in aggregate — with fame, with the press, with fans, whatever it may be.

An inundation of media makes it easy to form parasocial relationships, where we believe we are close to our favorite celebrities.  We follow them on social media and through podcast interviews until we think we know them, maybe even fantasize that we have some special connection — how many times in a year do stars meet their “biggest fan”?

Because folk music is a very small world, however, I’ve occasionally had an artist who I have met who unexpectedly remembers exactly who I am — a  personal thank you note for an organization they are fundraising for, a “how have you been?” in greeting. One or two even follow me on Twitter, for reasons unfathomable.

It is delightful to be recognized, of course. But I also find another feeling creeping in, a certain self-consciousness. If I share a review of their album, for instance, on a blog such as this, will they see it? Unlikely, but not inconceivable. If they do read it, might I offend them, or just as bad, appear unctuous and excessive?

I am still primarily a fan, they are the artists I am a fan of. I would not go so far as to describe any of my favorite folk artists as friends, but still, in some sense,  we know each other.

Anonymity can be a wonderful thing. Parasocial relationships only really include one person. My favorite artists may delight or disappoint me, break my heart or pull me through hard times, but the only thing really at stake is me. If we know each other, even slightly, then there’s two people in the relationship.

Would I prefer to just be an anonymous fan in the crowd? Of course not – it is a rare and wonderful thing to be able to ask your favorite singer a question after the show, and to get a hug before you leave. But I still find myself startled when I am reminded, again, that the easily spread media that makes it so easy for us to form parasocial relationships with those we admire can also allow those we admire to peer back at us.